Dating in 2026 - Tips From Your Bloom Therapist
If I received a dollar for every time I hear my clients share the difficulties surrounding the dating world in today's generation, I’d probably be a multimillionaire! My friend, if you find yourself talking about the lack of authenticity, personality, honesty and honest intention in the online dating apps, you are unfortunately not alone.
Today’s generation has it very difficult to meet a good person with similar morals and values.
The Problem with Dating Apps
To solve this problem, we were given dating apps as a convenient, easier solution. But, as we’ve seen throughout the years, dating apps have become a place for superficial and shallow connections. Let’s dissect this for a minute.
Judging a book by its cover:
The initial “encounter” you have is through a picture. A picture does not show personality, moral standing, principles, relationship skills–most of all, it does not determine someone’s value. We have all succumbed to the idea that someone’s appearance matters enough to pass judgement on them. We end up flattening this stranger into a passing thought, instead of treating them like a real, three-dimensional person.
Putting on a mask:
Dating apps encourage memberships and witty one-liners rather than authenticity making it harder to sense emotional safety, values or relational capacity.
Putting the physical over the emotional:
When you look at potential matches on dating apps, the first (and sometimes only thing) you see are their face and/or body. Apps emphasize attraction before shared experience. Looks fade, but someone's ability to handle stress, kindness, or boundaries are essential real-life situations one needs to see to assess true compatibility.
Decision fatigue:
The choice overload creates this sense of replaceability which creates less emotional investment. Secure attachment grows through consistency and presence, not constant alternatives waiting in your pocket.
Let’s make 2026 the year we take dating offline!
Putting yourself out there is scary, especially doing so in person, but here are some easy, low-pressure ways to start:
Narrow Down Your Interests
Get a piece of paper and write down at least 5 things that answer the question, “What brings you joy?” For example, faith groups, fitness communities, book clubs, creative workshops, or volunteer organizations. Shared purpose naturally fosters connection!
Asking a Friend to Set You Up
Let trusted friends or family members connect you with someone they know. Allow yourself to say yes and do it for fun! Don’t put pressure on yourself to find “the one” or start a long-term relationship. Instead, treat it as an experience where you can gather insight on what you want in a partner. Also, you can find out why your friend or family member decided this would be a good person to match you with. Friend-based intros often come with better alignment in values and lifestyle.
Working on Yourself in Growth Spaces
If you are in a season in your life where you are developing yourself and seeking growth, sign yourself up for classes, therapy groups, retreats or workshops! If that is a shared value between you and the people you meet, that is a win in openness, self-awareness and emotional availability.
Consistency in Third Places
Make yourself known in third places, even if you’re just a regular customer there for your daily coffee. Choose a cafe, gym class, or library for regular exposure. Low-pressure exposure creates familiarity and safety. Even if nothing comes out of it, you’ll feel more comfortable putting yourself out there overall.
Volunteering and Fostering Community
Shared service creates meaningful connections faster than small talk ever could! Volunteer in a space you value and are passionate about. High probabilities are the other volunteers share this same value as you do which is a great start to a connection.
The dating scene is tough—I get it. We’re here for you.
If you’ve been having some bad luck in your romantic life, you could start internalizing it as something wrong with you. These issues could spiral into long-lasting trust issues, jaded outlooks, and avoidant approaches. But I’m here to tell you that it’s not just you; the dating scene is made to frustrate you and make you doubt yourself.
But if you need someone in your corner to help, someone to remind you of what your real goals are and what you really want in a partner, having a therapist to discuss your relationship with dating can be super beneficial. Therapists, while equipped with unpacking serious trauma, depression, and anxieties, are also just good facilitators for conversation. Instead of talking to your family and friends, who may be biased about your life, a therapist has studied attachment, behavior, and all sorts of relationships, and can offer a more holistic point of view.
If you think that therapy could help you with your relationship with romance, don’t be afraid to reach out.
Sincerely,
Your Bloom Therapist